supporting
single moms

Hi, I'm new here. I just ran across this site and thought that it looked like a place I might fit since I feel pretty alone in alot of areas of my life. I'm 18 years old and 4 months pregnant. My boyfriend and I were engaged when I became pregnant and I felt we were both pretty serious about making things work. However, pregnancy apparently changes alot. I have had a really difficult pregnancy and I moved back in with my mom because I had to quit my job and am on bedrest much of the time. I have a bicornuate uterus and have experienced alot of bleeding. I am scared to death of losing my baby. More than anything I want to be a good mom and take care of my child, but it's so hard to do it alone. My boyfriend ended up losing his job and will not even look for another one. He is more preoccupied with spending time with his highschool buddies than trying to provide for his future family and that is very disheartening. I was raised pretty old fashioned and I do not believe in supporting a man and I'm sick of trying to check up on him and be his mother. I told him that until he gets a job and starts taking his responsibilities seriously we needed to take a break and I now find out that he is seeing other women and partying. I am pretty heartbroken over this and I don't have many people to talk to. Most of my old friends are just not interested in continuing a friendship with a pregnant lady. I guess it's just not cool in their eyes. I have always considered myself to be a good friend and I guess I would just like to find some people in a similiar situation who I can talk to. I commend all you single mothers who are doing what it takes to be there for your kids. God bless you.

-Emily

Hi Emily, I must say I am surprised to know that you are 18. Your message is thoughtful and insightful. I have to tell you that I am 25 and have an 11 month-old boy and just recently left his father, who was not my husband. It sounds to me like you have your priorities straight. I believe that it is a woman's nature to put their baby first. It is instinct. The father of my son is 31 years old and he does not have it figured out. He was interested in spending time with his friends. The hardest thing I did was change the locks on the condo that I own (and he was living in w/o paying a dime!). Do not lower your standards and end up in a worse situation. Keep focused on your health and that beautiful baby. If your parents have taken you in then it sounds like they are supportive. Become best friends with those that truely care about you and your baby. All your hardship will be worth it on the day that your child arrives. Know that you've done everything you can to make your family whole but do not over-extend yourself. You're right about not wanted to keep checking on your boyfriend like his mother. It is not your job. Everyone says that relationships are difficult, but they shouldn't be THAT hard. You have done the right thing and continue to trust your instincts. I hope you find my message helpful and respectful. Keep being a good mommy! jpsmom

I read your story and wanted to start talking to u right away, but then i think it would be better if we chatted "private e-mail" instead of on the blog? So if you are cool with it; e-mail me with a (YES) and start typing so i can repl.

nashronda@yahoo.com