I'm a 29 yr. old mother of three. Let me start at the beginning, when I was 19 I got married to a man that was a drug user. Later on I started to do the same. At age 20 I found out that I was pregnant and stopped using the drugs for my babies sake. My husband did not stop. He started to say very negative things to me. Things like, that "you ugly and stupid", "you'll never be good enough","know one cares about you", and so on and so forth. I thought that maybe I was doing something wrong to make him do this to me. The night that I had our daughter a nurse had to go to the apartments next to the hospital to get my husband at a drug house. Three days later when it was time to take our baby home, my husband took off with a cousin of his. I had to wait for a family member to come and get us and take us to my dads house so that I would not be alone. At about 1:00am my husband came staggering in at my dads house. I asked him where he was, and that's when I started to hate him. He told me in his drunken state that him and his cousin picked up a girl and that he watched his cousin rape her. He also said that he touched her privates and kissed her. I had never been so mad, and sad at the same time. The next day I woke him up and made him tell me the girls name. He slapped me and said "that's no concern of yours, just leave it alone". I grow to hate him after that. I did find out who the girl was and I turned my husbands cousin in. I got beat up for that, but it was worth it. I stayed with my husband after all that. I went back to drugs when my daughter was done brest feeding. Everything with my husband and I seemed ok after that, untill I got pregnant with our son and stopped the drugs again. I worked everyday untill I went into labor at work one night. My husand could not be found this time. I had to get a friend to take me to the ER after work that day, and she stayed with me untill me family came to me. My mother in law found my husband sleeping on the floor of a drug house, and brought him to me just in time to see his son. We fought the whole time in the hospid that time. Once again I found myself back into drugs just to shut him up. Now here I am 2 kids,a husband that I hate, and a drug problem. I started to fight back at age 21. Everytime he said something mean to me, I would say it back to him. If he hit me, I would throw things at him. I never did thease things in frought of the kids. If he started on me, I would take it out side and finish on him.At age 22 I finale woke up and the kids and I left him. I was pregnant again with anther daughter, and stopped doing drugs again. This time my soon to be ex was not around to bully me or make me fill bad abuot myself. I waited untill my daughter was born to go through with the divors. When that day came, he did not show up for court. He know all about it, becouse I gave him the papers to show up for court. When the juge looked over everything and said " I here by grant this divorce" I was so happy to hear that.I mailed the divorce papers to my now ex husband that day. He called me crying when he got them and that night he came by my dads houes with a box of ashes. It was our marriage lisence and divorce papers.Now comes the light part of my store. I took my ex to cildsupport court. He is tring everthing that he can to not have to work to support our kids. I can't afford a lower so I'm doing this on my own.The kids or in school and if it wasn't for my new boy friend I don't really know what I would do for school close. I do not work but I am tring to go to college.I just have to take my ACT test to get in. It's a strogle every day to pay the bills, get gas,pay for food,and take care of kids and a houes. I need a grant to buy some land and bild a houes on it,but for some reason no one will help me.I've been sober now for 4 yr. all for my kids to have a normal life.Thank You for reading this.